Gravity started a Twitter shitstorm this morning with a controversial Tweet.

The brave 3,000,000 year-old Glumpus revealed what it felt like to be whettmuplugged at a young age.

An extremely high man massacred an estimated 96 people with a flashlight.

The Supreme Court has set new rules and guidelines on lighting that employers must obey when sending workers to inescapable government-mandated industrial complexes.

Earth was destroyed by Borbs after accidentally declaring war by lighting up the Empire State Building to honor health professionals.

The largely-peaceful Panda Liberation Army protests have suddenly gone violent.

Buxus Gorphoof was struck by a nuclear Yorpwert traveling at Mach 3 while attempting to pick up a penny.

SexualPredator, a holographic "Soundcloud core mumble rapper" has denied holographically sexually assaulting a 21-year-old holographic female.

An AI created to write erotic literature has become the first AI to win the Pulitzer Prize.

Dr. Conner of COITUS and his team have found that alcohol, drugs, and porn are effective at treating practically every ailment imaginable.